Tools and Resources
I lead group sessions covering a diverse range of topics. To aid my understanding of these subjects, I rely on various concepts, models, and tools. These invaluable resources enable me to introduce the topics effectively and initiate meaningful conversations with participants. I have compiled and organized them here as both my knowledge base and as resources for the participants in my group coaching program.
DOQ to map coaching conversation
The DOQ (Dialogic Orientation Quadrant) is a tool popularized by Haesun Moon in the coaching world to analyze dialogues. It makes what happens in conversations visible, and reveals underlying thoughts that were often chalked up to gut feelings and instinct.
Haesun taught it as a coach’s tool to observe and analyze coaching conversation so coaches can consciously use questions to keep the conversation in one quarante or move it to another. I also use it together with clients to map out our conversation. It becomes a mirroring tool for clients to see their thoughts, where they are at, and where they desire to go. It is particularly helpful when the clients come in with “feeling stuck”, “don’t know what to do”, “not sure what I want”. It is similar to design thinking in some ways. When all these bits of thoughts get down on paper as words and phrases, a direction (orientation) starts to reveal itself.
If it works, do more of it.
If it ain't broken, don't fix it.
If it works, do more of it.
If it's not working, do something different.
These are the foundations of solution-focused coaching. They are also simple, universal and practical enough to be used in your everyday life or in your organization. Are you looking for more personal growth? Think about what you are good at, and do more of it. Do you want to build a better team? What is working for your team and what is not working. For those not working, what can you do differently?
Userful tools and resources:
Get to know your greatest strengths and more about Character Strengths.
Trust
Trust is often an abstract concept. You either trust, or don’t trust. If it is somewhere in between, then you are in a dilemma. Often we turn to our instinct, gut feeling, or flipping a coin. So what can you do when you are not sure?
Below are some tools that I use to transform the abstract to the quantifiable, measurable, and most importantly improvable. Trust is not only a feeling. It is also something that we can analyze, we can work on and improve.
The marble jar of trust is a story told by Brene Brown. https://brenebrown.com/videos/anatomy-trust-video/
(This is the power of a great story teller. I started a group coaching series because I was so moved by her Ted Talk and her books. I want to spread her ideas to inspire others.)
This is how Brene explains the concept of trust to her daughter in third grade.
“Ellen, trust is like a marble jar. You share those hard stories and those hard things that are happening to you with friends, who, over time, you filled up their marble jar. They've done thing after thing after thing where you're like, I know I can share this with this person.”
What I learned from this story is: trust is built over time with small moments. In Charles Feldman’s language, “Trust is choosing to make something important to you vulnerable to the actions of someone else.”
To my analytical mind, the marble jar gives me a mental picture of trust. But it is not enough. I set out to find what we can do about it. These two diagrams below are what made sense to me. They are clear; they are simple, and they are actionable.
The Trust Equation was first introduced in 2000 by David Maister in his book, 'The Trusted Advisor'.
From: "Begin with Trust", by Frances Frei and Anne Morriss.
These two models serve as quantifiable tools for measuring trust, unveiling various methods to construct and enhance trust. As a coach, I find these concepts and tools tremendously valuable for assisting my clients in transitioning from abstract ideas to actionable steps.
Keeping Our Attention Open
Work related conversations are data. Among them, interview conversations are data, especially so, with data flowing both ways. Keeping our attention open to the context will help to avoid fixation on what we don’t like.
Context example:
where we are: an interview; our purpose: find out as much as possible about the position; best outcome: come out as top candidate.
What we don’t like example:
Immediate manager has no clear business goal; no clear definition of the role; no clear definition of success.
Open mode of attention will allow us to notice more about the situation and the environment, and we are less likely to get caught up in what we don’t like, which leads to judging and reactivity.